Slugapalooza 2015

It’s that time again! Happy birthday to me! And what better way to celebrate turning 56 than throwing another free bash for all you MTGO players out there? And I do believe this slug knows how to party!

creation of adam pmf sm

Slugapalooza 2015

Thursday, November 26, 2015
Noon Eastern
X Rounds Modern, determined by attendance, followed by T8
Registration is open via Gatherling
Players, pairings, prizes, and results can be found here.

Where Does All This Happen

Games will take place in Play Lobby Constructed Open Play > Getting Serious.

Event chat, player meeting, and pairing announcements will take place in the Slug channel, Select channel #Slug from chat dropdown menu.

How Many Rounds Is It?

8-16 Players: 4 Rounds
17-32 Players: 5 Rounds
33-64 Players: 6 Rounds
65-128 Players: 7 Rounds
129+ Players: 8 Rounds

Prize Pool

Prize Distribution

 Fine Print

  • All pairings and standings will be generated via Gatherling.
  • Deck changes between games are not allowed.
  • Games are played in the Getting Serious play room. Games must be set as Modern, watchable, timed at 25 minutes, best 2 of 3, and be marked “Slugapalooza Round x”.
  • First person listed makes table. Players have 10 minutes to make and join tables from time of pairings announcement.
  • Bullying, mobbing, foul language, & general rudeness will not be tolerated. This includes “snide remarks” about decks/playing ability, personal attacks, racial slurs, etc. A player will get 1 warning, then be ejected from event. Further violations after ejection may be screenshot & reported to WotC for harassment.
  • Talking in other players games is discouraged. You may chat – within the guidlines above – within your own game. Violations by non event participants may be screenshot & reported to WotC for harassment.
  • Results must be posted via Gatherling Player CP before intermission. Results posted in the Slugapalooza chat room, or via PM, will be ignored. Results not posted before intermission will be declared a 0-0 draw.
  • Boosters will be added to players accounts by WotC during the downtime following US Thanksgiving.
  • WotC employees are welcome to play, but are ineligible for any prizes. We request no “shop talk”, unless prior arrangements are made.
  • “Double Queueing” is not allowed. If you are found playing in another event, including WotC sanctioned events, during Slugapalooza, you may be dropped from Slugapalooza.


What’s the ugliest part of your body?
Some say yer nose
Some say yer toes

What’s the sexiest part of your body?
Some say yer boobs
Some say yer pubes

I think it’s your mind

Citizen of No Where

I got a new roommate last night
Some young kid
Who doesn’t speak a word of German
Or English
Or Spanish

I don’t know his name
I asked downstairs
It sounded like Absel (Ahp-SEL?)
It’s eleven in the morning
And he hasn’t woken yet

I’ve been out for coffee at the mission
And used one of the Bahnhof HotSpots
Now I’m back, waiting for the mail
And I can smell him
Or it could be me
But I don’t smell like that
I think

The mail came
My circumstances
Haven’t changed
I’m still
Citizen of No Where

Du! Da!

Du! Da!
mit goldiges Haar
Komm zu mir herauf
Zum meinem Haus
Du! Da!
mit goldiges Haar


Ich wünsche ich wäre ihr Fahrradsitz
Sitzt sie dan an mein Gesichts
Ganz lecker zwischen die Scheiben
Da möchte ich gerne bleiben

It Didn’t Work

I bought a surfstick
I followed the directions
It didn’t work

I applied for a German ID
I followed the directions
It didn’t work

I went to Western Union
I followed the directions
It didn’t work

I went to my social worker
I followed the directions
It didn’t work

Germans are supposedly reknowned
For their fine engineering
For attention to detail
For everything in it’s place
It didn’t work

The only place I’ve been successful
At making a workaround
Is having Western Union
Sent to my roommate
Instead of me

So far, my stay has been shit
For which the Germans
Do have a saying:
Die Welt ist eine Scheiße

How apropos


Das Lokuspapier hier!
Immer zwei Blätter
Und zur Zeit nie hätte
Es dürchgerissen
Mit aller Schissen
Am aller besten hier
Ist das Lokuspapier

Western Union

The Western Union went through
I have money in my pocket
Food and drink in the fridge
Shortly I’ll ride that rocket
After I take a shower
I’ma get stoned. Fuck it

German Circuitry

Neun Uhr Dreizig
Under der Himmel ist Blau
Der Joint wäre schon gut
Und ich bin stoned

Mittwoch Abend mit guter Laune
Am Fenster sitzen, wie ‘ne Pflaume
Möcht ich gern ‘ne Zigarette
Dreh ich mir eine, ganz complette


My suitcase has arriven!
I took a shower
And put on clean clothes
I’m just
In my room
In the shelter

The cheapest drinks here
Are wine and beer
Coke and milk cost more
As does water
I drink white wine
One and a half liters
Of ten percent ‘Liebfraumilch’
For one eighty five
My roommate drinks the red

One of these days
I’m going to try the beer varieties
To see which one I like
I’m somewhat a beer snob
Tho I’ll drink swill
If it’s handed to me