Monthly Archives: October 2013

Worldwide Wackiness!

Emblem_of_Tajikistan.svg
I have a fan
In Tajikistan
Another in South Africa
Turks and Croats
Come to poke
As do Canucks and folk from Russia

I never knew
My jibbers and spews
Would garner such attention
Around the world
My turds are hurled
I’m liking this obsession

Fiat Lux

sperm-fertilizing-egg1I don’t understand the controversy
Of how his universe came to be
Whether the Big Bang or “God made it so”
In that instant of creation’s glow
What it comes down to, at the crux
Fiat Lux

Let there be light
Everything after that
Is conjecture, based on belief
Or science, based on cold fact

Belief is felt from the soul
Not subject to numbers or charts
Faith cannot be rationally argued away
Without belief, there could be no art

Science looks under every stone
Everything has an ultimate explanation
Just because one thinks it’s so
Can be proven only with verification

But when you come to the very start
When nothingness tore apart
Both say, at the crux
Fiat Lux

And Another Thing…

I draw, too. Again, I have no formal training. I do have some OJT doing Technical Illustration (in conjuction with the Tech Writing mentioned in Simulating An Earthquake). I have been asked to “do something on the wall” at some of the places I used to play at oh so long ago. I think I do as well with a pen or pencil as I do with my words on the screen.

So the kids and I were talking about playmats, and it suddenly dawned on me. Hey! I’m a “personality!” Why can’t I make hand drawn Slug playmats and sell ’em? Perhaps even for a handsome profit?

I already have a metric shit ton of Sharpie markers in various colors. I can start with a purple, or a white, playmat. I’ll probably go white. I have to watch the bleeding, tho. Sharpie might not be the best, but it’s what I got.

I generally do ok when I go off on tangents like this in my life. We’ll see what this one holds.

My next article. The Slugs Lair: Underground, is due out in a few minutes(?). I’ll link it, and put it in Published Gibberish, and all the other places I advertise it,  when it goes live. It could be late if the webmeister is busy drafting or something. I kind of curious how that one is gonna be taken; it’s a bit of a departure from the norm, with a large chunk of “gonzo” coverage of a major Magic event, with maybe 3 sentences having a passing mention of Magic. Again, we’ll see.

Simulating An Earthquake

Many decades ago, I was Technical Writer and Support Specialist at a largish mail order PC parts distributor. This was back in the dark ages, when IBM clones first started hitting the marketplace, and a 80386 was hot shit.

The company I worked for was located in a seismically designed building in San Jose.

Two days after the Loma Prieta quake in ’89, the tech who ran the BBS, another tech, and I were bored. We did a little measuring and math, and figured out a “sweet spot” which happened to be in a large clear area near the copy machine.

We ambled our way to that spot, and we proceeded to “bounce on our knees” in unison – jumping up and down without our feet leaving the floor.

Within five seconds, concerned heads were popping above cubicle walls, and screaming was heard. Shrieking, actually. The three of us were writhing in laughter. We had no idea our results would be so spectacular!

The next day, we were all called to carpet, and “written up” for “simulating an earthquake”. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

Posted from my phone.

I Had A Dream

I had a dream
She was coffee, I was cream
Delicious toffee, my Nubian princess
As our lips closed the distance
And our bodies came together
Clothing all became untethered
I ran my fingers through wiry hair
The alarm went off, I was holding air
Dammit

Coffee-Cream

NRB (No Reason Boner)

Bored. With a boner
No reason for it to swell
But whoomp! There it is

Posted from my phone.

Myocranial Infucktion

Your hands, my blood
The scar is but an instant
The pain everlasting

Grasping At Fragments

Cigarette burnt out
A metaphor for my life
How apropos. Fuck.

My drink is empty
Another metaphor. Fuck.
Irony abounds

LastCigarette

I’m vexed
I got a text from my ex
A picture of her sweet smiling face
I fell in love all over again

I phoned
While I was here alone
Her sweet melifluous voice
I fell in love all over again

I can’t help myself
After twenty seven years
It still happens every time
I still dream of her
The Queen of The Universe

I’m alone
So far from home
Six words cannot convey the abyss
That is the whole of my existence
I doesn’t matter where I live
It’s just The Place She Isn’t

It’s the World of Shit
I’m King Shit of Turd Mountain
I’m invisible

Earlier this year she was explicit
It’s time to move on, don’t bother coming back
Now she says she wants to visit
What the fuck am I supposed to make of that?

I see a glimmer
Fuck all else
I’m chasing that dream again
I would crawl naked
Through a mile of barbed wire and broken glass
To hold her once again

Munchies

I’ve got the munchies
But there’s nothing to nosh on
I’d have to go out

It’s fucking COLD out
Layers are indicated
I don’t want to move

Does my laziness
And desire to stay warm
Outweigh my hunger?

Posted from my phone.