Monthly Archives: May 2014

Haiku 347

На бескрайней степи
Лошади спать на мою кровать
Звезды мой одеяло


Rambles From A Dirty Old Man

As the weather warms
The young ladies going to school
Wear less and less
Causing dirty old man drool

I know I can’t act upon this
I know that my impulses are wrong
But those sweet young ladies
Sure make blood rush to my dong

Under eighteen is protected by law
Over sixty by nature
Anything in between is fair game
According to legislature

So I’ll just stare out the window
And my nastiness will remain a dream
Of seventeen year old schoolgirls
In skintight leather jeans

The Dog Ate My Bike

On the porch smoking
And I’m sitting here thinking
What is there to do

If I had a bike
I could go for a bike ride
But the dog ate it

Chewed the seat right off
Pedals gnawed to metal rods
The dog ate my bike

Posted from my phone.

Good Morning?

I’m still alive
Oh well
Good morning
To you

Haiku 1001

The pillow beckons
Your voice whisp’ring in my thoughts
I wish you sweet dreams

Chickenshit Motherfucker

Pain, single, gimpy, alone
I’ve worked hard all my life
For this?
I’ve lost everything
For this?
The only reason
I’m still alive
I’m too chickenshit
To pull the trigger

Nihil Sum / Tweet 1003

I was horrified at first
Then excited
Now, nothing

But I’m used to it
I am empty
Promulgating the abyss
Nihil sum

God Bless Chemists

Chemists Wallace Carothers, William Hanford, Donald Holmes and Joseph C. Shivers invented the provocative blend of Lycra, polyester and spandex that define today’s yoga pants. These are the men responsible for the scientific advancements that brought us these wondrous materials and the “invention” of yoga pants. Without these guys, yoga pants designers would have nothing to work with and might as well be designing khakis. Chemist Wallace Carothers launched the “spirit of yoga pants” in the 1920s and 30s. Well, more specifically, that’s the time he was working to develop polymer fibers. In 1941, two other chemists borrowed from Carothers’ work and patented polyethylene terephthalate. This opened the gateway to synthetic fibers like terylene, Dacron and polyester as well as non fibrous materials like Mylar. Study of the specific polyurethane that became Spandex dates back to 1942 with the work of William Hanford and Donald Holmes. The term Spandex was first used in 1950 and first marketed in the US in 1959. They also marketed a very similar fabric under the name Lycra. Today many consumers spend “big bucks” on yoga pants. The Financial Post reports that Lululemon Athletica customers shell out $98 per pair, even with competition from the likes of Gap, Nordstrom, and Calvin Klein. The practice of Yoga dates back more than 5000 years. How they made it so long without synthetic fibers, we may never know.

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Posted from my phone.

Haiku 328

Earthquake Music
I feel the world shift
When you turn your eyes my way
And my world is rocked

Tweet 942

Would that I could
Breathe the scent of your skin
Drown in your eyes
Life, death, everything, nothing
I would