Category Archives: Poultry Coroner


What’s the ugliest part of your body?
Some say yer nose
Some say yer toes

What’s the sexiest part of your body?
Some say yer boobs
Some say yer pubes

I think it’s your mind


A Sonnet

I walked to the store to get some tobacco
Thoroughly enjoying the rising sun’s glow
Reflecting off the snowy expanse
Frozen breezes make my hair dance
My boots creak crunch creak crunch in the snow
Swaying along as I lurch to and fro
Pulling my pipe from out of my pocket
I load, spark, and puff, take off like a rocket
A cloud of billowing smoke surrounds me
I clutch at myself as I cough in a frenzy
You can’t fly on one wing, the saying goes
Another bowl is quickly enclosed
More billows of smoke pour out of my nose
Now I’m home, preparing to decompose

Why I’m Grumpy During The Holidays

I wish I could explain
How the holidays make me feel
How every display of love
How every act of giving
How every holiday greeting
Send pain to my soul

I used to love the holidays
Back in the day
Before I was torn from my home
Before time and distance
Estranged me from everyone
And everything
I’ve ever loved

Each year the holidays get worse
Gaping pits of emptiness and yearning
So much love to give
No one to give it to
Watching everyone else

On the Solstice
And Christmas
I’ll sit here alone
New Years too
It’s easier alone
Than as a pity guest
At some one else’s fete

DIY Honey Oil

honey oil IMG_20141206_111721This is all you need to make some high quality Honey Oil from cleaning your buster. The “lab stuff”┬áis simply cheap plastic throwaway shot glasses and dixie cups, and syringes are commonly available over the counter. A Turkey Baster will do in a pinch.

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I use about 3/4 of a shot glass of USP 99% Isopropyl Alcohol.



honey oil IMG_20141206_113539First I set the crystal in the bottom aside.



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I put the Pieces of the buster in a 4oz cup w/lid, and shake it up.



Then I dump the crystal I set aside earlier into the mix.

honey oil IMG_20141206_113953

honey oil IMG_20141206_114104I pull the end off a Q-tip to act as a filter, toss it in the mix, and use a syringe to draw the alcohol

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I pour this into a glass dish, and set it on my PC to evaporate. This usually takes about an hour and a half to two hours.

Scrape it up with a single edged blade, and voila!

Muddled Lamentations

It’s been bad lately
I know the rot in my heart
Would be better expunged with open airing

I know this

My words over the years bear witness
To the pain I feel every day

But lately
I just don’t give a fuck
About anything

I go through the motions
Waking up, feeding myself
Trying to earn my way
Every day
And every day
It gets harder

I know not producing means not earning
I know I’ll be hungry by next week

I know I’ll be disappointed again on my birthday
When no one calls
Except my mother

More so on Thanksgiving
When I call
To reassure myself
That the people I love are still alive

I wouldn’t know otherwise

I know I’ll spend Christmas alone
In an empty house
Forgotten by everyone who means anything to me
I’ll pick up the phone and call
I’ll tell them I love them
I’ll sound happy
But my vision will be blurry
And my heart oh so heavy

They’ll forget me again as soon as I hang up

Every day it gets harder
To not burst into tears




I wake in the morning
And the first thing I see
Over a decade, every morning
Is her, smiling and beautiful:
Our sons, our dogs, our yard, our life

It hurts

So bad

I know I’m alone
I’m surrounded by strangers
No one in my life right now
Is more than a passing acquaintance
A name on a screen

I want to love
I have so much love in me
I want to give
I want to free my heart
Passion pours out from me
To fall on deaf ears

I’m going to die alone

I could be dead now
Who’d know?

Except I’m still breathing

Crying Into My Whiskey

Frenzied fragmented thoughts fly through my skull
Furious functions with end result: null
Wanting to get up and do something
Sitting here having another drink
Confused and not knowing where I am going
I want to pick up rocks and start throwing

In the meantime
She’s found someone new
Life goes on
Without me

My kids don’t know me
My friends don’t remember me
My dog is long dead
Another man visits my house
And makes love
On my bed
To what was mine

Daydream 1038

Breakfast is done
Morning glory, too
Synapses snapping, I’m thinking of you
Your footprints on the inside of my skull
As you dance

Glass covered dancer in mad tarantella
Bouncing, gyrating, limbs helter skelter
Succulent flesh in revolution
Vibrating wires showering dew


Why do I even bother?
I’m not happy
I haven’t been happy
Since we’ve been apart

I pass the days
Weeping often
The old couples I see
In my day to day life
I used to think that would be us
I still love you
And would die in your arms

I weep that to you
To our sons, our friends, our family
I am but a distant memory
Fading with each heartbeat

I weep when I hear your voice in the morning
Telling me it’s time to wake up
I know it’s not real
I’m alone in my bed

I weep when I see other couples
Have couples moments
I remember ours

I weep when I talk to women
That make my dick hard
And sing to my soul
They’re not you

I weep at all the love I have to give
With no one to give it to
I have nothing else
You saw to that

I weep that all my worldly possessions
Shabby and well used, all
I can reach out and touch
From where I sit

I weep that my life is so empty
Without you in it

I think
The only reason I’m still alive
Is I’m too chickenshit to pull the trigger

Sniffing A Young Girl’s Nether Regions

I spent a pleasant morning sleeping in
After waking I crept into the back yard
Spending some time aimlessly wandering
Watching the girls as they’re playing hard
Dancing in the sunshine, waving their arms
Skirts blow in the breeze revealing their charms

I bury my face in her budding yoni
Tiny hairs sprout where limbs come together
Gently tickling my nose like a feather
As I inhale deeply and so slowly
The scent from her skin sends bolts through my skull
Her skirts in my fingers as I burrow
I glance at her sister, my breath at null
Then inhale once more of her heady glow

Please take a moment and realize
The girls are green plants, not a real girl’s thighs
Lucious ladies about waist high
Starting to show their blooms on the sly

Bad Pain Day

It’s a bad pain day today
With every beat of my heart
Fire ripples through my soles
Even sitting down
With my feet flat
Resting on the floor
It’s agony on the bottom of my feet

A day of pretending takes its toll
Pretending I can stand on the porch
To smoke a cigarette
While my feet are screaming to sit down

Tomorrow I’ll have to brace up my boots
And make my way downtown
Saturday I’ll have to do it again
Except this time way ‘cross town

Hopefully today’s an aberration
Some illness or inflammation
And not an indication
Of further nerve deterioration

Because if this is how it’s going to be
Excruciating pain all I can see
I’m not sure what the point would be

If you can walk, you can’t understand
I used to hunt and hike
Ride in the mountains on my bike
Now I can barely stand

The pain that I feel on a daily basis
If suddenly inflicted
I think in most cases
Would make one gasp and cry
Fall to the ground and cry
Weep and want to die